This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
