If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize