So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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