You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
