I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
