Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
