she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
