The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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