the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
