u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
