She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
