i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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