why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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