did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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