how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
