you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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