My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
