My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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