he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jger and an empty bed here Friday.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
