I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
