actually, I'm a sock model
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
