Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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