Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
and you fell through a lawn chair
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
