Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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