we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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