I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize