I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
All I want is dick and wine.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
