I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This baby is an asshole
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Randomize
