Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
