You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
