lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize