Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
