CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
