My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
