I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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