i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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