i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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