I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
