On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
