Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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