I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
