She went from zero to smokin in five shots
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
