I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
