Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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