Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
