dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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