3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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