I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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