If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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