Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
