I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
