Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
