"it" just moved
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
