I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Boobs are out for the taking
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
