Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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