Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
