OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize