Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
