it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
