They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Randomize
