Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
