i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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