You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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