i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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