new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
