Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize